Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Don't send me no flowers while you shill for Osama and Kerry..."

A recent conversation with 1-800-FLOWERS:

"Sorry, but actually I am calling to tell you why I can't order through you all for a while."

"Why is that sir?"

"Right before I called you, I heard some ridiculously slanted whiney excuse of a news story on 1010-WINS Radio. They basically read the DNC's press-release on Pres. Bush's National Guard Service, slanting the story so far to the left, even after the White House released his pay vouchers and even after the Boston Globe, the NY Times and other major media have announced there is no story there..."

"I am sorry sir, what does that have to do with you cancelling your order with 1-800-FLOWERS?"

"Well, I realize you barely have much say in ad placement, but your 1-800-FLOWERS ad came right after that story, and all I can do in my mind is associate your company with 1010-WINS shilling for John Kerry and tearing down Pres. Bush. Listen everyone's entitled to free speech, and as a consumer I am entitled to free choice, right?"

"Right sir, but what would you have us as advertisers do?"

"Well, if I were you , I would call your ad buyer and tell them to at least demand that 1010-WINS not place your ads right after these smear jobs. Because listen, those rights we were talking about, they were and are still bought and paid for by American troops, over and over, and as far as I am concerned, any news organization that keeps repeating slander against our Commander in Chief during a war, well, they are simply encouraging our enemies to fight harder and kill more of our men and women overseas."

(Long pause)...

"I mean, G-d forbid, you don't want to be making more money off funeral arrangements, do you?"

"I understand you completely sir... and I will pass your sentiments on to our managers... Thank you for calling."

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